Modern philosophy tells us to cut from our lives anything that stresses or drains us—including people. “Good vibes only” is a light-hearted, seemingly harmless catchphrase, and a quick online search will bring up multiple quotes like the following:
- “Give yourself permission to cut negative people from your life and surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.”
- “Cutting people off doesn’t have limits. Family can get cut off too if they’re causing you stress. Eliminate any negativity in your circle.”
- “Cutting people out of my life does not mean I hate them, it simply means I respect myself.”
Imagine giving Jesus this kind of advice. Never mind dying for people who hate you, Jesus. Never mind pouring years of Your life into disciples who will abandon You in Your darkest hour. Never mind teaching and healing endless crowds who offer You nothing in return. Cut them off. Eliminate the negativity. Respect Yourself.
We catch a glimpse of Jesus’ response in Matthew 16:23, when Peter tries to tell Him that He won’t suffer for humanity’s salvation: “But He turned and told Peter, ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me because you’re not thinking about God’s concerns, but man’s.’”
GOD’S THOUGHTS
In contrast to the quotes above, the Bible is full of verses like this:
- “But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return” (Luke 6:35).
- “No one should seek his own good, but the good of the other person” (1 Cor 10:24).
- “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal 2:19-20).
- “And the King will answer them, ‘I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me’” (Matt 25:40).
According to God, a Christlike life is about ministering, not just to those we enjoy being around or expect to benefit from, but to the hungry, the sick, the imprisoned, the homeless, the hurting, the unfamiliar, the alone. He calls us to shine light and love into negative situations and troubled souls—to reach out to the very people other people are cutting off—just like Jesus did.
BOUNDARIES THOUGH
I’m not saying it’s unchristian to set boundaries and protect your mind, heart, and body from people who negatively affect them. Jesus set boundaries. He dismissed Judas Iscariot before sharing some of the most intimate moments of his ministry with the other disciples. He often slipped away from the clamor of needy crowds to speak with God and refresh His soul. Proverbs and Paul warn against keeping company with people who corrupt our morals or influence us in wrong thinking.
The difference between Biblical teaching about boundaries and contemporary applications is motivation. The world’s guidance is all about loving and caring for ourselves—doing what’s best for us. As servants of God, loving Him and caring about His glory should be our top priorities.
CHRIST IN YOU
Ministering to people who are hard to be around or give you nothing in return can be draining—physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. How do we cope without pushing people away or drawing into ourselves?
The answer is Christ—it’s always Christ. To spill over with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22-23) without running completely dry, we must do what Jesus did. We must return over and over to spend time with God, meditate on His Word, and be refilled with the glory of His presence.
God doesn’t ask us to serve Him in our own strength. He asks us to be vessels for Him—channels of His love and truth and Holy Spirit. Above and beyond this, to every call for selfless service, He adds the promise of great reward and fulfillment.
- “Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it” (Matt 16:24-25).
- “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever” (Ps 73:26).
- “Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over—will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38).
“For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you. We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light” (Colossians 1:9-12).
https://teachinghumblehearts.com/en/helping-emotionally-draining-people/
All quotes are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible
